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Candy Crush Saga: Terrible game, excellent psychological test Review

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Terrible game, excellent psychological test
Candy Crush is a worthless game but as an index of human misery it has no equal. Roughly put, the more hours spent playing this game the more worthless you feel. In order to even begin playing it you must have extremely low self esteem so this trend should be worrying. The gameplay is a complete ripoff of bejeweled but the brilliance of this game really comes from its in-app salesmanship. Every level is crafted so that you have just insufficient moves to complete it without purchasing a 99 cent upgrade. The characters of Tiffy and Mr Toffee are classic unreliable narrators. They initially appear as helpful sprites to show you good moves but their real motives become clear in later stages of gameplay wherein through flashing “hints”that they surely control, they guide you towards the worst moves in the deck. Ignore the lights. I said don’t look at the lights! Tiffy’s crocodile tears at the end of every failed mission are not for you but for her own failed attempt to swindle you out of money. Tattoo this on your arm: Tiffy is a liar. Do not trust her. One can't help wondering if the gameplay characters may in fact represent some nightmare dimension in which real-world players who have been stripped of their humanity and their very souls, are sucked tron-like into the abyssal inferno of this sugar world. Their sole hope derived from sucking the souls out of others with false siren-calls of "divine" and "wonderful." Fix these issues and I'll update my review with extra stars for a five star review!
Ozexpat on Nov 14, 2013 for Candy Crush Saga
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I need my lives!!!
After the update I can't connect to Facebook & my lives disappeared.PLEASE FIX NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Smiley88😜 on Nov 14, 2013 for Candy Crush Saga
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Great Game, but..
This is the best game I've ever played. It's very addicting, once you start you can't stop. Loved it up until level 306. It literally hurts your eyes and gives you a headache. If the levels stay like that with the moving rainbow I honestly don't know if i could keep playing it.
Syrian Rose on Nov 14, 2013 for Candy Crush Saga
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Candy crush
Having fun
Jholee Graham on Nov 14, 2013 for Candy Crush Saga
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Problems
Addictive and all but crashes continuously on my iPod touch so I stopped playing...
Rawk01 on Nov 14, 2013 for Candy Crush Saga
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Fix
I love the game but it is very frustrating that any lives my friends give me I don't seem to get. 5 is the most I have ever been able to get and that is just from them recharging. When all my lives are full I except the ones from my friends and they don't show up.
Sel920 on Nov 14, 2013 for Candy Crush Saga
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